How it All Began…

 

 

I have been overweight since as far as I can remember and according to my parents it all started when I was 6 months old! My mother had to travel and left me with my grandparents for what was supposed to be 2 weeks… A week after my mother left, the war broke out in Lebanon and the airport was closed down… For six months! I wound up staying with my grandparents that entire time being fed an average of 6 to 8 times a day… I’m not talking light meals here… I’m referring to the old traditionally renowned “healthy” meals such as mashed bananas with biscuits and sugar! That feeding frenzy continued till my mother came back… She could hardly recognize her newly inflated child… It was then that I learned the art of comfort eating by replacing my mother’s absence with food… That stayed with me for the rest of my life and I grew up to be the fat kid in pre-school, school and of course: HIGHSCHOOL! Worst of all… Not only was I in a tough environment, I was in a French school and if you know the French, you would know that they love their women skinny… veeeeery skinny…

My issues with fitting in were not my only concern, I also had a terrible relationship with my father who hated the fact that I was overweight… After all, he was Mr. Posifit, a man who loves sports!  According to him, I could get the car I always wanted if I lost weight… pretty much any request big or small was tied to “if you loose 10 kilos, 15 or even 5!” Surely that was ages ago and I came to understand that this was his own way of trying to motivate me to loose weight… Granted it was harsh but hey, you can’t blame a man for trying!

You must know that I come from Lebanon – a country where physical beauty is essential in one’s life. Of course, this is prevalent all around the world, but in Lebanon especially, it is daunting. So much so that clothing stores do not even keep large sizes!  Everywhere I went with the family I heard statements like, “Salwa why did you let her get this big, haram!” (Salwa is my mother’s name and “haram” is Arabic for ‘poor thing’). The irony would be that this conversation would unfold whilst I just stood there pretending to be invisible! Whenever the comments got bad and scaring, I would swear never to touch food again! I would vow to starve myself into loosing all this weight and would resort to a different diet every time… The banana diet, the cabbage soup diet, the Miami beach, south beach and north beach – you name it! I wound up loosing 5 kilos in 3 days and then putting on 10 in a week of relapse… The good spells I got were whenever I was going to the gym… Somehow, the movement got my body desiring healthier foods and as a result melting down… This would only last so long and my destructive self would just be lurking and waiting for the first major depression to unfold before getting me back to where I started… Walking the straight line was definitely not my forte I must say…

Overall, I must admit that this experience actually pushed me to become a better person… To get accepted in society, I had to be smarter, funnier, hard working and more determined! I know all that I have been through in my life has better prepared me as I get ready to use ALL of my will power to find my Venus!

Rouba

 

 


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About Rouba

Rouba a.k.a. Roobz, was born in Lebanon in 1975. She is a communications consultant who has been working with brands and companies across the Middle East and North Africa for the past 20 years. Rouba is also a writer, singer and songwriter who has been performing since the age of 7. She is known for her outspoken views on women’s rights and constant encouragement to those around her. The Lebanese native lived in the US and around the Middle East before relocating to Dubai in 2013 where she lives with her husband and two children, Omar and Naya. In 2011, she began her quest to “Find Her Venus” and fulfill her lifelong goal of recording and launching her first music album which was released in 2012. Today she manages her own boutique communications agency in Dubai and performs at Musichall - one of the most sought out live music clubs in the country. You can view some of her videos on www.youtube.com/roubazeidan

27 Responses to How it All Began…

  1. Rewa says:

    Hi Rouba! I have enjoyed reading your blog very much 🙂 Every topic you’ve written on has been very educational and inspiring. Looking forward to your next posts!

    • rouba says:

      Hi Rewa and thank you! Knowing that my people are enjoying my posts is very rewarding… bless you and please keep coming back! 🙂

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