Whether we are introverted or extraverted, chances are at some point in our lives, we struggled to fit into a social circle at school, at work, in the neighborhood, at a club… Be it gender, social class, nationality, orientation or physical appearance, there is always a reason behind this feeling of rejection… Being the social creatures that we are, we have a profound need for acceptance in order to function optimally and so engaging with the community around us is a necessity according to psychologists who found that even the most self-confident of us remain influenced and aware of the opinions of others particularly of their perception of us.
In my experience, I have found that when you question yourself in the slightest way, then you allow others to question you. If you learn to have full faith in your individuality then you wind up simply imposing yourself; the result is that people – or should I say “society” – will have no choice but to accept you as you are whether they like it or not.
What needs to happen for this process to take place is to build up self-confidence one achievement, one goal and one success at a time… It also requires not being so self-conscious all the time… self-awareness can paralyze us! If we learn to divert our attention towards the “Now” that has been so widely talked about, we find room to breathe and enjoy the moment enough to stop being so hung up on whether people will like us or not… Who cares when you like you!
Neuroscience tells us that we need not fall victim of our biological destiny fueled by anxiety, adrenaline, etc. we can use small tips to increase our natural sense of self like for example exercise, meditation, healthy eating, positive thinking, personal growth and healthy sleeping patterns. This all confirms that self-confidence is a highly attainable skill that we can learn to master. Surely, I’m not saying that we can just press a button – I don’t believe in quick fixes for anything – but it has been proven that one CAN build self-confidence even if they have a low self-esteem that resulted from childhood abuse, failure, rejection or whatever…
One of my good friends Zeina – entrepreneur & founder of ‘Sweat’ one-to-one gym and ‘The Lean Kitchen’ catering – encourages naked time to build body confidence and says that confidence is one of the most attractive features in a person and that if there were anything we genuinely need to work on it is our mindset!
Going back in history, some of the most successful people confirmed that if you persist you can affirm yourself and your capabilities: Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Winston Churchill, Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, Oprah to name but a few. So always remember, we are all great in our own way and we do not need social acceptance to confirm that, we need self-acceptance!